How They Met: A first date with the whole family

Trey Anthony brought Vernetta Harris to opening night of Da Kink in My Hair, and the rest is history

Award-winning playwright, speaker and producer Trey Anthony is coming back to her hometown of T.O. where she will be kicking off and closing the Kuumba festivities at the Harbourfront Centre, in honour of Black History Month. 

Here, Anthony dishes on how she found love with her partner, ER doctor Vernetta Harris.  

How they met 
Our first meeting was in 2012 at an Olivia Trip, which is a lesbian travelling company that plans vacations for lesbians. We were both at this resort in Mexico and our mutual friends began talking. At the time both of us were in relationships, and because of this, our first meeting was quite uneventful. Neither of us really paid much attention to the other. However, we exchanged numbers because I had just bought a home in Atlanta and was actively searching for opportunities to connect with folks in the industry in Atlanta. Vernetta had previously lived in Atlanta and offered to connect me to her social circle there. Throughout the years we infrequently stayed in touch.

In 2016, I was single, and in a conversation with a friend, I lamented how hard it was to find someone and that I had given up and had decided to be single and adopt a couple of kids and call it a day! She encouraged me to go through my friends list on Facebook and ask any woman out that “intimidated” me or that I found cute. I reluctantly went through my list, and when I came to Vernetta’s picture, this inner voice just said, “Message her.”  

The first date
I officially asked her if she would be my date for opening night of my play Da Kink in My Hair at Horizon Theatre in Atlanta. She said yes! She drove in from Nashville, and I booked a hotel for her in Atlanta for her to stay in. I had also forgotten that my entire family was flying in for opening night, including my mom, my sister, my nephew and my brother! So they were all there for our first date. 

The evening was magical, and instead of flying home the next day, she joined my family for brunch and ended up staying for three entire days with me and my family! 

The courtship 
Our courtship was a whirlwind long-distance romance. She was a travelling emergency room physician, and I was on tour across Canada with my play, so it felt as if we were always trying to fit in dates in every state across the U.S and Canada. 

Their lives now 
We both love travelling, and we spend most of our time plotting fabulous getaways. Vernetta was recently on a six month sabbatical, and we spent six glorious weeks in Hawaii, where I spent most of my days writing on the beach, while she sat next to me reading a book. We really both value our downtime, and we believe in living in the moment. Our favourite saying is “Why delay gratification!” She recently moved to Atlanta to be with me, and we now share a home and plan on adopting a baby this year. We are hoping that the universe will send us one soon. 

Secret of success 
We are both very busy, so each week we take out our schedules and make time to read together, exercise together and even have sex! Intimacy is important, so we put it in our schedules! 

On Feb. 3, catch Trey Anthony’s “A Black Girl in Love With Herself” with Andrea Bain. On Feb. 24 Anthony is hosting Dat Gyal Funny! comedy night.

Article exclusive to TRNTO