COVID hit like a ton of f**king bricks and it took us with it.
When we thought about COVID, when we thought about being locked in the house, we thought we would be a specific kind of mom.
At the beginning, we jumped out of the gates with a huge bang. We were baking and crafting. We were going to do family workouts and chores, and get dressed every day! We were thinking we were going to work out, we were going to lose weight, and we were not going to drink every day. But then came seven bottles of wine a day.
Now, the reality of mom life during COVID-19 has really settled in. Listen Linda, we are all doing the best we can, and that is perfectly fine. If you can’t figure out how to paint a room right now, and if you’re not cooking a five-course meal for your kids, don’t stress out about it. If you thought you were going to take up a new hobby and you started it, but now it’s just sitting there halfway done on your bedroom floor — you are doing A-OK.
We thought we would come out of this rejuvenated with every closet and every corner of our houses cleaned. Then we found out that they’re not accepting donations so all that crap that we took out of those closets has nowhere to go but on the living room floor.
We went from making meals to just telling our kids to grab a snack. We point them in the direction of the fridge because that’s the stuff that going to go bad, except they don’t want the fresh fruits and vegetables — they want the crackers, chips and candy. Well back off kids, that’s my stash that I get to enjoy for making it through the day!
Now don’t get it twisted, we love spending time with our children, just not 24 hours a day and seven days a week. Their teachers don’t want to spend all day with them either, so why would we? Even teachers get a recess during the school day.
And then, after all that time together, they still cry if we don’t go up to their rooms at night time to put them to bed. Really kids? We just spent all day together and now I have to go do a conference call!
The problem is that no matter what you do, you can’t hide from them. You can go into the bathroom and literally take the stinkiest poop of your life, and they will still walk in and talk to you. It’s like they love us so much and they’re so obsessed with us that they probably like the smell of our sh*t.
Then there’s the home schooling! We are adults, we are intelligent, we can teach our children at home. No. We can’t even get on the kindergarten link without breaking down in tears, and if we’re not crying, then the kids are! Never mind the older kids who are asking us to teach them fractions!
What we’re trying to say is that it is totally fine if you became the person that you didn’t intend to be during this pandemic.
If you aren’t getting dressed in the morning, if you are looking at your clothes longingly, if you are judging the other people you see online who are getting dressed every day, we are with you.
If you don’t remember the last time you showered and you’ve got terrible body odour and you’re spraying deodorant or dry shampoo to cover the smell, we are with you.
You know what? We’re still alive. Nobody knows how to navigate all this but we are here to give you permission to do whatever you want.
We got you. Everything is awesome, but sometimes bad, and sometimes terrible, but sometimes great. We can do this. Hang in there, ladies.